General News
17 June, 2024
We all need to raise our hands in support
As May drew to an end, so too did the official awareness month for domestic violence.
But DV shouldn't just be on our minds for one month a year; it should be something we are always aware of, calling out and offering support to survivors and victims.
April* shared her story with Wimmera Mallee News when we began our in-depth series on domestic violence four weeks ago.
Her story was harrowing - and just one of countless others, the majority remaining untold.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope. And there is solace, as April explains...
After sharing my story, I had a couple of things I wanted to add for survivor victims, their families and friends, and the community in general.
To family and friends of survivor victims, please hang in there and be patient.
I had counselling from a DV specialist for at least a year before I found the strength to leave.
I didn't have the courage to leave and believed my ex-partner when he said I could never give the children what they needed and wanted by myself.
But one day, I had just had enough. I was ready.
If you have a family member or friend experiencing domestic violence, just be there for them.
It might take them months or years to find the courage to leave, it might not, but your care and support will make a big difference along the way.
Just because they haven't left doesn't mean they aren't working on the logistics behind the scenes, mentally preparing or making a plan to leave safely.
Also, abuse can be in many forms - in my case emotional, financial, physical and verbal.
Just because you can't see bruises or bumps doesn't mean abuse doesn't exist.
And in my case, it was the not physical stuff that cut the deepest and still lingers today.
Another thing I really want the community in general to know is to please take these abusers off their pedestals.
If you know, or have suspicions, that an acquaintance or friend of yours is abusive, just because he is a "good guy" socially doesn't mean it isn't true.
Just because he is the life of the party or in the community has a good reputation doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of something sinister.
Behind closed doors, they could be a completely different person, and I cannot tell you how demoralising it is to have people sing a person's praises while behind closed doors they are a monster.
To the survivors and victims in our community, here is my message to you:
You didn't or don't deserve this.
You didn't make them be abusive and it isn’t your fault.
No matter what they say.
Things can and will improve and sometimes it’s baby steps that will get you on that path.
You might not feel brave or strong enough to leave today, but in the meantime concentrate on being safe and getting support.
I hope you have learned or can have solace in the fact from coverage in Wimmera Mallee News over the previous weeks that you aren't alone, the abuse doesn't define you and the behaviour needs to be reported to police.
If not for you, or your family, for any further people the abuser may be involved with.
Finally, thanks to Wimmera Mallee News for giving not only me but also another survivor victim in Simone O’Brien a platform to share our stories.
We need to call it, and offenders, out.
I also gained solace in the words of Victoria Police Western Region Division Four family violence training officer Senior Sergeant Simone Field who reassured survivors and victims police were taking DV seriously.
Domestic Violence isn’t going to go anywhere unless we all work together - and everyone needs to play their part.
Fed review under way
A rapid review by the federal government on how to prevent violence against women and children began in Sydney last week, with advice to be delivered between July and September.
It could see a change in direction by the government, with the panel including critics of current prevention strategies.
The review comes after advocates and frontline workers called for change as women and children continue to die from domestic violence, and abuse reports continued to grow.
They have called for ongoing funding for services, and for recommendations from past reviews to be followed through.
The review is being led by Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence commissioner Micaela Cronin, Commonwealth Office for Women director Padma Raman, and Department of Social Services secretary Ray Griggs.